Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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