Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
