he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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