brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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