I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
