But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
