I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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