Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I will pee on everything he values.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
