Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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