I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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