I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
