His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
