You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize