conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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