Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
