I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
