dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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