if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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