I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sorry my hands just texted you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
