3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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