plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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