using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
