Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
