In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
