wat bout pragnant strippers??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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