she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
