I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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