did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
