we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
