4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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