bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
