found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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