She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
