hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
