you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
