ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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