don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have post one night stand depression
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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