ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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