btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
