Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
