I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Drunk is not a location!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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