not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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