You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let's get the cat blown out
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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