Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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