I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
