We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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