I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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