i already hear my dad disowning me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
