; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
