i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
