i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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