I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
