I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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