at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
