ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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