More tranny stories later!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
