If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
