you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
