is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
