I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
These tits shall not be calmed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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