Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
