well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just blew my weed a kiss
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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