when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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