Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
