you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
