# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
