My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
