i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
