i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
